i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
