another moral hangover. fuck.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
