I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
