She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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