they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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