Moan for me like Helen Keller
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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