Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
