I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
