you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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