I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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