My entire life is one complicated drinking game
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
