It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
