Me. At least after what I've been through.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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