I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize