Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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