I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
