ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
