4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
