wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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