I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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