she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize