I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
