just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
