i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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