Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
