News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
