I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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