Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize