ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
