i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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