dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Is it penis luge time yet?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
