OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The air taste purple.
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