I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
