oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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