called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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