ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
