i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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