where am i from again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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