if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
What a dumb baby whore.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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