So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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