Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
