no. you can't hotbox the world.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
