As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
