if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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