atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize