Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize