I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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