On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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