It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
