We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
