Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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