There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
