he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
