she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
