Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low http://tfl.nu/rfi4
  Replies (25) Good night (2036) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks http://tfl.nu/26ja
  Replies (4) Good night (2890) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/47a7
  Replies (10) Good night (3048) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Moment of silence for the loss of that option.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues. (478): Moment of silence for the loss of that option. http://tfl.nu/jcvy
  Replies (29) Good night (1983) Bad night (7200)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night. (1-403): I am now curious as to how you would have aimed. http://tfl.nu/wkgz
  Replies (10) Good night (2501) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You left your underwear on the fireplace

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): You left your underwear on the fireplace http://tfl.nu/ha55
  Replies (4) Good night (2328) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested http://tfl.nu/xmgm
  Replies (5) Good night (3352) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance. http://tfl.nu/ljav
  Replies (5) Good night (2445) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again. http://tfl.nu/ygo4
  Replies (19) Good night (906) Bad night (4421)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school. http://tfl.nu/m6s5
  Replies (8) Good night (2077) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME! http://tfl.nu/punt
  Replies (6) Good night (2086) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in" http://tfl.nu/49tf
  Replies (7) Good night (725) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid. http://tfl.nu/spee
  Replies (3) Good night (917) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught. http://tfl.nu/csvp
  Replies (3) Good night (832) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One. http://tfl.nu/azcx
  Replies (0) Good night (1127) Bad night (195)

Randomize