great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
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It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
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As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.