...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I look better un-naked...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.