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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.

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• (631): View more from New York

  hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies

  Fav 34 7485 1242

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?

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• (516): View more from New York

  My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.

  (509): View more from Washington

  you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left

  (971): View more from Oregon

  goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels

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• (925): View more from California

  You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.

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• (650): View more from California

  There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.

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