Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.

(301): View more from Maryland

but she's really nice

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds. (301): but she's really nice http://tfl.nu/144l

Replies (3) Good night (1230) Bad night (594)
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

we're no longer friends

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube (1-603): we're no longer friends http://tfl.nu/kml0

Replies (10) Good night (955) Bad night (2811)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants. http://tfl.nu/uvta

Replies (40) Good night (3319) Bad night (746)
Favorite
(718): View more from New York

I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there. http://tfl.nu/dv4v

Replies (13) Good night (4423) Bad night (1556)
Favorite
(912): View more from Georgia

I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(912): I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days. http://tfl.nu/3yem

Replies (18) Good night (7474) Bad night (1452)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it. http://tfl.nu/v1ti

Replies (9) Good night (1122) Bad night (3087)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco. http://tfl.nu/49kl

Replies (7) Good night (4416) Bad night (1403)
Favorite
(778): View more from British Columbia

nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(778): nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table http://tfl.nu/3lt3

Replies (8) Good night (1828) Bad night (1392)
Favorite
(774): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(774): I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you. http://tfl.nu/ievp

Replies (8) Good night (2047) Bad night (770)
Favorite
(931): View more from Tennessee

i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(931): i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn http://tfl.nu/8o33

Replies (10) Good night (713) Bad night (1806)
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.

(816): View more from Missouri

I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night. (816): I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it. http://tfl.nu/9xew

Replies (6) Good night (1745) Bad night (743)
Favorite
(219): View more from Indiana

My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(219): My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle. http://tfl.nu/g4yj

Replies (11) Good night (1694) Bad night (682)
Favorite
(862): View more from New Jersey

This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(862): This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex. http://tfl.nu/wq13

Replies (6) Good night (1433) Bad night (300)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why. http://tfl.nu/ugb9

Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (280)
Favorite
(774): View more from Massachusetts

How are you feeling?

(435): View more from Utah

I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(774): How are you feeling? (435): I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad. http://tfl.nu/eomx

Replies (0) Good night (291) Bad night (110)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard