I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
