Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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