he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
