you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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