bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
