this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
