That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
