i don't like sucking hair
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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