So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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